I never really gave much thought to the phrase, "in the first beginning," until my friends from the mainland started chuckling everytime I used it. Where I come from, people say this all the time and it's one of those perfect contradictions that reflect a simultaneous naivete and wisdom.
Well, cultural implications aside, "in the first beginning" represents that moment where I realized, for the first time, that life can be kind of a b*tch. As I've gotten older these oh-so-tender moments seem to manifest themselves more frequently than celebrities checking themselves into rehab for "exhaustion." But as this is my first post, it's only fitting that we go back to the very beginning, so walk with me.
It's the early 90's at Christmas time, and tinsel is strewn everywhere including in my hair, and my mother has just woken up the house with her unique version of "Happy Birthday to me." Am I excited for this day? Have I been waiting for it forever? Do I still belive in Santa Claus? Do I think that he brought me a dollhouse? Have I already told all of my friends that that's what I'm getting? Yes. Yes on all counts.
Now why would I go and do a thing like that? Because, that year Santa wasn't so clever. He didn't put the dollhouse in a box and then wrap it. He just wrapped the house and I mean what else could it be. It's so clearly the best. present. ever. and all of my friends are going to be SO JEALOUS. because I would have the best. christmas. ever. I mean this was a big deal for me, as you can tell. Christmas was already scarring enough with a mother who already received holiday gifts but was a kindergarten teacher AND had a birthday on Santa Day - can we say presents everywhere? Where was the justice in the world? That year the law had to rule in my favor.
Well my friends, I jumped out of bed with a fury that only a young girl with a dream could have. I dont even remember whatever else I got that year and honestly I probably could care less. I opened every gift slowly, careful not to rip the paper and trying to savor the moments before I would open the pièce de résistance. Well an hour later, that moment was upon us. I don't think I was concious of anything around me except for the thin layer of paper between me and my future....
Well world, meet my Christmas present:
WAP!
Universe: 1. Young Me: 0.
Well played, universe, well played.
